Not a single one involves wearing a Super Mario t-shirt. Successfully hitting on a stripper is serious business. Like setting up fireworks, if successful the end result will be a wonderful show of lights and sounds, but getting there can be deadly. But how does one go about picking up a gorgeous gal in-between stuffing singles and watching a bouncer, who could crush walnuts in his nostrils, escort her off stage?
Until strip clubs take a cue from libraries and institute no-talking rules think about it! These are the things you should never say to a stripper. Surprisingly, they're also the things that strippers hear more than anything. Except maybe Sevendust. If you need change, ask the bartender. Plus, you know, maybe just tip the nice lady who is nakedly spinning upside down in front of you a little extra? If she says her name is Chastity von Flowercrotch, then Chastity von Flowercrotch is her name.
The next day I remembered asking when I read the reply that I should send along some writing samples. My current club is nothing like my previous one because the customer pool is much smaller, and the rules are drastically different. I was not popular. I had a guy I named dog food guy…. The rest was my tip.
To Mr. My Spanish teacher and mentor, Mrs. Fuentes, was the pinnacle of grace and good manners. I thanked her in my heart each time I lied about my age—which was always. At the club, anyway.